Let me explain -
On this journey of life, I experience a perpetual need to know who I am and what I'm worth. Each turn I make represents a belief I hold and will lead me to somewhere, either my desired destination or far from it. Each turn I make, represents beliefs I hold to be true about myself and/or life. I can always resort back to using my old tactics, which heavily relies on a faulty compass (my reactive feelings) as the guide, which takes me on quite a bumpy detour.
My faulty compass represents my old-self and the value system it operates from, which consists of various distorted beliefs that will lead me further away from my desired destination.
Desired destination: Christ-likeness
Evaluating one belief at a time, and being aware of each one and its role in my life leads me to what recovery and discipleship is all about. Awareness and repentance.
When I've taken a wrong turn, I can usually tell by me being easily offended in my relationships or interactions with others. I've taken my God-sized-questions to those who are simply, not God. I've taken my cues of who I am, apart from God, resulting in the tendency to feel unsafe and on guard with others.
When I take things personally, I am usually taking into account my perception of how people think of me and I base my person hood on that. It then occupies my God-spot, with the outcome of me either being easily offended with that or anxiously guarding it. I'll either cling onto it for dear life if I like my perception of who I am based on what others think of me or how I think of me - or - I'll be offended and resentful of those that represent a perception of me I do not like. Buckle-up for a wild roller coaster ride, for that is what this way of living life feels like.
I have a desired destination. - To reflect Christ who resides in me -
He, who loved like no other,
Who was full of grace and truth,
Was both hated and loved,
Worshipped and condemned,
Majestic King who made himself servant of all,
Both God and flesh,
Merciful yet just,
Needy yet fulfilled.
Holy, yet broken and bruised.
To the degree to which I take things personally and take my God-sized questions to anything or anyone that isn't God, I will be offended and will be least of service to others the longer I remain parked in that offense.
I am human. I am fallible. I do get offended. I do take things personally. I do take my God-sized questions to flesh and blood (including my own) and I do feel the sting of offense as a result. I am learning to not remain in that offense for nearly as long as I have. This encapsulates my offensive strategy. It provides me a way to respond when I do feel offended, by not becoming defensive, but going on the offense...which requires me to not be easily taking things so damn personally. Or at least not remaining stuck in that offense for long. The offensive strategy gives me a generous 24-hours or so to get out of that offense, and go on the offense by turning my offense either into something to grieve over (see Anger Tick Tock) or if I'm able; to choose not to take it personally by overlooking the offense. Sometimes a necessary step to overlook the offense is to get rid of anger by moving that feeling to sadness and grieving over it. But other times it's as simple as making an intentional decision to overlook the offense, instead of being clocked by it. Another word for this process: detachment
It's one step at a time. I cannot afford staying in the land of the Offended for long. It's costly real-estate. It costs me peace and being of service to others and the blessings that flow from that, for starters.
This is my offensive strategy:
Upon feeling offended, I have choices. I can either remain in my offense and nurture it with resentment, blame and defensiveness, or quickly turn from that (repent in Christianese) taking back my God-sized-questions from being falsely answered by false gods, and instead taking them to God. Who demonstrated His love for me in Christ dying for me.
My heart and soul were made by God and made intimately for God. My easily being offended is usually an indication that I'm trying to force the wrong puzzle piece to fit where it doesn't. I tend to react defensively and it doesn't do me or anyone else any good when I'm being defensive. Why? Because I then become the center of that defense-strategy, and it backfires. I want to gain more experience practicing this new offensive-strategy. It's a tactic that goes on the offensive upon feeling offended, against the kingdom of darkness and spiritual forces of evil, and doesn't take things from flesh and blood so personally.
"From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it." -Matthew 11:12
I cannot rely on my initial reactive feelings as my offensive-strategy, or I will get creamed. Upon feeling offended, I have another option - I can employ my new offensive-strategy. I'm still in training with this, but lucky for me, I get tons of on-the-job training while on this journey called life.
