When any part of what I am doing or am not doing (past or present) has harmed or caused damage to other people, I make amends. To make amends is to mend or repair something that's been broken or damaged, as a result of my behavior which has contributed and/or been responsible for harm. This will almost always involve an end to that which has caused the harm.
There are behaviors I make amends for that I alone, in my own human efforts, am powerless to end. Powerless, not helpless. This is where my understanding of living amends applies. It's not a one-time done-deal action. If I've borrowed money and not paid someone back yet, paying them back is the action of making amends. I end the outstanding debt I have with them by repayment.
Something more complex than this could be a certain attitude or behavioral pattern I've carried out that's harmful. In making a living amends, my goal is to end that behavior by seeking out help as needed, to overcome or make progress in that area of my hurtful character or behavioral struggles. Blame will only cripple me from making and following through with my living amends. I can own my character defects without being offended by them, when I'm operating from the truth that I am not defined by what I do.
Who I am and my value from who I am is not extracted from what I do or have done. There is a distinction. My living amends can involve me continuing to make progress towards living out who I want to be, in terms of my desired character traits, and having my choices reflect that, one day at a time.
Often, to amend is to own what I am doing that is harmful to myself and/or others, and end that.
Am (harmful behavior I am doing) + making an end to that = Amend
I'm realizing that living amends are the toughest amends to make, I am dependent on God to assist me in walking out my living amends. The follow through is continuous, but so are the rewards.
These are generalizations drawn from my own personal experiences, limited as they may be. How exactly to approach one's amends process in recovery/discipleship is best done on an individual case-by-case basis, that should involve the guidance of a trusted invited insider, like a Sponsor or a Ruth. My personal experience has taught me thus far that the hassle is definitely worth it, while the results are not for me to control, only to accept.
