"Jesus wept." - John 11:35
It is because I have the hope of eternal spiritual reunification with God, that I can fully grieve over the losses I experience here on earth.
It is because I have this hope in the upcoming new heaven and earth that I can feel and acknowledge all my human feelings, without fearing and therefore avoiding me feeling them.
It is because I have this hope, that I can face the pain and grief of the suffering I encounter here on earth where there is still death, pain and brokenness.
Feelings are for feeling, not for fixing.
I will reiterate: feelings are for feeling, not for judging or rating my overall:
- "goodness" or "badness"
- "strength" or "weakness"
- "maturity" or "immaturity"
One of my primary pet peeves that I encounter often, inside and outside of the church, which tends to grieve me far more when I encounter this inside of the church, is when feeling certain feelings is admonished through spiritual bypassing. It infuriates me because it's such a double-bind that results in further strengthening shame, instead of disarming it.
Jesus knew that Lazarus would be raised from the dead. So, why did he weep? Was this some fraudulent display of human emotions?
No. But for the skeptic in me, let me ask...
- When did Jesus ever appear to be operating from a need to deceive his onlookers so he could feel good about himself based on their opinions of him?
- Why would Jesus disown himself through being inauthentic, for the sake of conning others?
These are often what we do, albeit subconsciously, so it's hard not to project that onto Jesus here. But then I think to myself; Jesus was crucified because of his unashamed authenticity, which either attracted or repelled people from him. Jesus lived an open and transparent life on purpose, so that he could pull down the subtle veil of people's misconceptions of God that were portrayed through religion that abused its power and authority. He wanted to reveal God's true nature, through how he lived and used his God-given power and authority on earth namely; to set captives free, not to acquire more captives.
Jesus lived his values out in the open, which was problematic for those who preached living one way for God out in the open, yet didn't value living this out in the most critical area of their lives: how they treated the vulnerable; be it the poor, the outcasts, children, foreigners, women in a largely subversive patriarchal society, the lepers, etc.
I've heard it say that Jesus wept so loudly in this account, that people who were not in immediate proximity, could hear his weeping. He held nothing back while he mourned.
This solicited two responses that were contrasted with one another, in which I believe both responses could find people who can relate to them today.
"Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!" - John 11:36
I find it interesting that from what these Jews were witnessing in Jesus' weeping, they took note of how much Jesus loved Lazarus.
Then there is another response from some of the Jews...
"But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?" - John 11:37
Good question. I wonder though, if these Jews said this because they were uncomfortable with openly expressing grief or emotions in general? I don't know, but I do wonder.
There are two different responses here from the Jews, to Jesus' grieving. One seems to empathize with how Jesus grieved. The other response seems to ask a very logical question and comes from a more analytical viewpoint, in response to Jesus' grieving.
To this blog author's modern-day-analytical-chic (me) who is much more comfortable in intellectualizing her feelings, than in fully feeling them, I am wondering about this. Either way, I am still finding it to be a pet peeve of mine to encounter this de-spiritualization of feelings (spiritual bypass) in order to avoid feeling and/or expressing emotions, when in contrast, it is because of my spiritual life's source, that I am empowered to feel my feelings fully, not ward them off with Bible verses.
