Apparently, pigs can be disguised in the "healing profession". I shouldn't be so shocked, right? No, but grieved I am.
I'm currently seeking healing from my life's most painful experiences, that are hidden in silence - preverbal trauma.
According to my amateur's blooming understanding and awareness of preverbal trauma which is stored within implicit memories, which when gone unresolved/undetected often create explicit memory traumas on top of those, there ensues quite the entangled web to untie. It takes the most compassionate, competent, humble and insightful individuals to participate in this most sacred place of healing.
I now realize just how painful it can be to select an ignorantly arrogant practitioner, or more nicely put - uninformed professional - to invite into this emotionally and spiritually invasive process. Just like I told a dear friend of mine, I am currently earning my PhD in the ivory towers of the school of Hard Knocks. My PhD - that is my Personal History Degree (PhD).
What is sacred? -My wounds, traumas, and felt-sense of safety, or simply put: my hidden authentic-self, revealed through vulnerability, which is tenaciously and fiercely emerging onto the scene of present day life, albeit many frozen layers, that once upon a time, served as protective agents.
I'm reminded that just because someone possesses impressive credentials, or outwardly appears to subscribe to a particular dogma, doesn't mean they won't respond like a dog or a pig when I throw my sacred pearls before them, by inviting them into that delicate place.
There are many in the healing profession who do hold credentials that are extremely skilled and gifted at what they do, yet are still open and approachable to feedback from those they serve - those are the professionals worth their salt. Those are the professionals who practice what they preach when it comes to the hard stuff in recovery - vulnerability, rigorous honesty, humility, willingness and growth through conflict. As I get to know these very down to earth people, I'm inspired by them, whether or not they have a PhD or a GED.
How can I become aware that someone (including myself) is treating what is truly sacred, like a dog or a pig would treat pearls, instead of just an imperfect human being making an honest error in missing my heart? -By the way they respond to me when I vulnerably share my hurt with them - that which is sacred territory.
Common dog or pig-like responses when sacred pearls are thrown to them:
Silence
Defensiveness
Irritability
Minimizing
Dismissing
Blame-shifting
Attacking
Ignoring
Belittling
Placating in absence of making amends..
It's sometimes a lot harder to discern the pigs/dogs from the rest of the pack, especially when they operate within an establishment that exists to help heal invisible wounds, and have credentials that are used to support that endeavor, not disguise its four-legged nature, and all in the name of "God". I am not guilt-free from ever doing this myself, thank God He showed me though, and is helping me to walk away from trampling on people's sacred pearls (including my own), one day at a time.
Live, laugh, cry, learn and grow....repeat? I guess so, at different altitudes I suppose.
Raw reality ain't pretty sometimes, and that's the reality of life.
