"So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister."
-Romans 14:12-13 [emphasis in bold by me]
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
- Ephesians 5:1-2
It's not for me to assume my role in people's life is to change, fix, transform and convince others to see things a certain way. I am not the Holy Spirit and I'm not called to imitate his unique role. My flesh constantly assumes that role, out of pride. I'm called to imitate Jesus, and Jesus didn't do this with others, including especially towards his skeptics who weren't open to him. If I'm trusted, invited and sought after to be of influence to them to whatever degree they decide, that's different. That isn't the context I'm referring to in this post though.
I often get mixed up on which person of the Trinity I'm called to imitate. They each have distinct roles, and I often try to imitate the Holy Spirit's role when I'm not called or equipped to, resulting in added misery and chaos in my life. If I am to imitate God, I look at Jesus and imitate him. When I try to imitate the Holy Spirit, I find myself facing all sorts of troubles, big and small.
Another term I've used for trying to imitate the Holy Spirit with others is codependency, which bares dysfunction in my relationships. It's robbed me of peace because I'm not trusting God. It's God's business, and He's more than capable and willing to attend to His business with the people in my life who haven't invited me to speak into their life with welcomed (not coerced) influence.
It is my role to accept the reality of where people are at in their journey, this acceptance includes my own with where I'm at.
Acceptance has its boundaries marked by reality and all that falls within the territory of reality. It's not what I wish reality was, or how I need reality to be, no matter how valid, but rather accepting life on life's terms as is. It's one of the hardest things to learn in life (acceptance of hard reality) but, necessary for me to enjoy freedom.
Detaching from the codependent need for others I'm in relationship to think or see things a certain way allows me to accept people for where they are, where they aren't, who they are, and who they aren't. It doesn't mean I approve or agree with all I accept, but I don't need to in order to tolerate it. We "ceased fighting anything or anyone" as the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous puts it. Acceptance supports sanity.
This involves me coming to grips with my own powerlessness to control others and frees me from the compulsive need to. Even if someone wanted me to control them, it would be a struggle to perfectly control them. Look how hard it is for me to surrender my own will to Jesus Christ, one day at a time - and that's something I actually want to do! How much more difficult it would be for another person to surrender their will to mine, if they're not even willing or desiring that!
It's challenging enough to surrender control of my own life - when the desire to do so is present - let alone another when the desire to do so is absent or fickle.
I can have hope for others, and trust that God through the Holy Spirit is working in their life in His way and on His timetable, but I've gotta be careful not to confuse my hope for the future with present tense reality. Confusion comes when I fuse my perspective with my wishful thinking. Con-fusion.
How freeing it is to see that by honoring the boundaries that are inherent with reality, I am much more positioned to accept life on life's terms, with peace.
Unless I've earned the right or been invited into another's life to speak into their heart, of their own accord, I have no business interfering or intervening. That is a boundary which not only protects others, but also protects me. Unless it's robbing peace by threatening the well being of those who are necessarily dependent upon me, I am free to live and let live.
All thoughts and opinions about myself and others should be submitted to love and surrendered to the Holy Spirit to take care of. All interactions need to yield to love, and sometimes love sounds like keeping silent in the absence of a trusting and open relationship. Resistance by another person that results in me being reactive and argumentative, and them being defensive, is a red flag. Proceed with caution - acknowledging reality as my ally, not my enemy.
Today, I am called to be faithful in the role I've been given. To love. To live fully in love and let others live where they're at today.
Today, I'm called to be free.
Today, I'm not called to try and assist others to change, especially with those who are resistant to me playing that role in their life.
Today, I'm called to live moment by moment trusting in God's grace being sufficient for me to carry on with what I'm called to do.
Today is a new day. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is always just a day away.
Today I will live and let live, having faith that God's role in my life, and the role He gives me regarding others is clear and supported best by me having living in surrender to His will, not my own, one day at a time.
Therefore..today, I can breathe. Live and let live. And be at peace with the results.
These views are the sole expression of the one who wrote them and represent the point in time they were written. Life is fluid, and my views should be too, unless I claim to be all-knowing for all-time, I do not.
